Letters; Dear Villan
Dear villain,
First and foremost, If you’re expecting me to ask how you are, sorry dear, nothing for you. I hope you’re not doing okay and life is unkind to you. [ if that’s not the case, please tell me so I can take it up with the authorities involved]. I’m genuinely concerned though, have you been suffering ? Cos I hear wicked people live the best lives, however, I hope it is not applicable to you.
Eiii, you showed me so much shege walai, I can’t even pretend to be happy writing to you.
Where do I even begin? When I often say I hate your gender, people begin to wonder who exactly did me wrong, how do I explain that the first man I loved showed me premium shege?? Will it even make sense? I was so young! And you didn’t even care, you showed me early in life that somebody can love you one day and not love you the next, lol, its funny now, but it wasn’t then.
I loved you with everything in me, like my life depended on it , so the heartbreak was a special kind, it hit home. Ah! My days were filled with gloom and darkness , my eyes and pillows drowned in tears , I sat on the bathroom floor bawling my eyes out and asking God what my offense was , what exactly i did wrong. I tossed and turned on my bed begging and crying to God to take away the pain. I cried so much, water no gree comot from my eye again kai! Hearing your voice gave me serious anxiety , the fear of the next hurtful thing you’d say to me, I developed severe panic attacks every time you were around, what if he hits me? What if he says something hurtful to me again ?
I wish you didn’t know how much words meant to me because you used it against me at every single opportunity you had, I still remember the day I attempted taking my life , how tired my heart was and how difficult it was for me ,you looked me dead in the eye and told me I could kill myself if I wanted to , after all, I wasn’t important to you, ah! Jesus Christ!! How do you sleep at night knowing you’ve caused me so much pain? How do you sleep knowing you’re the reason I have trust issues, anxiety and panic attacks?
Your birthday was a few months ago and I found myself thinking about you, wondering what plans you had for the day. I contemplated praying and reaching out, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do so, and I’m glad I didn’t because tell me why I saw pictures of you laughing and making merry ? How dare you live a good life ?
I watched a podcast a few weeks ago and the girl said ,“ I’ve seen shege and that shege has made me strong” and I’d like to think that applies to me too. I no longer cry at the slightest things, I don’t expect a lot from people but at the same time, I’m not heartless. I wear my heart on my sleeve, double text and love without holding back , because what is the worst that can happen? I laugh out loud when the need arises. I didn’t break and I didn’t fold , I can’t fully say I’m strong, but I’m not weak either.
I thought I had a lot to say to you but writing this letter made me realise that I actually do not. I hope somebody somewhere is showing you a little bit of wickedness, I hope life is slow for you and nothing works in your favour and you sit under a tree begging God to show you mercy, I hope your bed is filled with bed bugs, your head filled with lice and most importantly, may your plantain burn whenever you fry.
No, I still do not wish you well, I cannot be the bigger person either , I’m 5’2.
