Dear Jilted Lover,
It’s only right I start by asking how you are, have you been drinking water? How is life treating you? We haven’t spoken in such a long time, I’m tempted to congratulate us for finally learning how to live without each other, well, I hope you have, because I haven’t.
I still think about you, on rainy mornings, hearing the tapping of rain on my window , I wonder what you are up to ;do you still listen to music before starting your day? I find myself randomly thinking of the glint in your eyes whenever you ate red velvet cake, the happiness in your voice when you spoke of something you were passionate about and how I always so fascinated listening to you ,to be honest, everything you did fascinated me , down to the way you fidget when you were anxious about something.
A couple of days ago, I realised that I unconsciously picked up a few of your mannerisms, [ I can hear you laughing while reading this], I add ‘’ba’’ at the end of all my sentences , I say “LMAO” out loud and people look at me weird, how do I explain that I heard you say it a couple of times and it stuck to my mouth like glue. It might interest you to know that I didn’t pick up only the weird things , yes you read right, for instance, I still set alarms and reminders for everything, I listen to the playlist you made for me when I feel sad, I communicate better and I don’t give people the silent treatment anymore. I allow myself to feel sad and deal with it accordingly, I finally learnt that things doesn’t always have to go my way , you should have seen the shock on my face when I discovered that the world doesn’t revolve around me, the horror!, LMAO. most importantly, I no longer cry and dwell on my sadness for days, I sulk for a few hours and keep it moving!
Do you still dream of me? Does eating spaghetti remind you of me? Or drinking wine? Do you think of me in the little moments when you’re excited about something? Or on days when it feels like nothing is going right for you? Do I ever cross your mind? Do you even remember me? I’m sorry for the things I said to you in anger, for not responding to your text because I wanted to be petty, for all the times we fought , for the times you were going through a difficult time and I wasn’t there for you. I tried to be a better person for you , I really did.
I often find myself wondering about what could have been if we didn’t have to let each other go, I wish we had more time. Do you think we would have been happy together? Would our love have been able to stand the test of time? Even if it did, do you think it would have been enough? Were our dreams valid or were we just on cloud nine? Were we actually in love or was it just the euphoria of having somebody to constantly talk to that we mistook for love?
I hope you’re doing well and life is kind to you. I hope you wake up everyday with a smile on your face and go to bed with a happy heart. You’d always have a special place in my heart.
