To love, and to be loved.
It has been twelve hours and fifteen minutes since Deji hung up on me and sent a message saying he would call back in five minutes. Did something happen to him ? Is he alright ?okay , maybe he forgot to call me back , so I should just call him , but Deji doesn’t like me calling him when he said “he “ would call me, but to be fair , he did not like me doing a lot of things , he did not like me making friends , taking pictures , using social media , talking to him when he is out with his friends , quite frankly , he did not like me talking at all , according to him , “Women should be quiet , they should only listen “.
My phone screen lit up mid thought , it was Deji ( of course , who else do I talk to). “Hey, I’m not coming back to the house , let’s do lunch tomorrow, don’t forget to come with your ATM card”, I read out loud . I screamed for joy because Deji wanted to go out in public with me ! I should sew a new top , because this opportunity comes but once , Deji always says I should be grateful whenever he goes out with me and as a way to show my gratitude, I pay the bill .
Deji is the absolute love of my life , we started dating when I was 16 and he was 23 and two months from today would be our fourth year anniversary and I’ve already started making plans for it. Deji sometimes raises his voice at me , threatens to beat me and makes me sleep on the balcony any day I make him upset , but at least he is a better man than my father. My mother died whilst giving birth to me and my father despises me for that , he says I killed his wife. He beats me at the slightest provocation, hurls insults at me and calls me bad luck because according to him , his life started to go downhill the day I was born. I met Deji on one of those days my father threw me out of the house because I came back ten minutes late from my sewing class. “Leave my house ashawo , go back to where you are coming from, I sent you to learn how to sew and you went to meet man”.
I was late because I stopped by the market junction to buy stock fish for the egusi soup we were to eat that night.
Unlike my father , Deji comforted me when he made me cry and bought me chocolate the next day , he called me “Princess” the morning after I spend the night on the balcony and gives me reassurance. Unlike my father , Deji doesn’t bring numerous women back to the house , he does his business outside and with only two women , Sophia and Precious and he always says he doesn’t love them , he loves only me . Unlike my father , Deji loves me.
What exact time is “lunch “? I do not usually eat lunch because “where I wan see that kind money ?”, but if Deji says we should do lunch then by all means , we’re doing lunch . The only problem I have is , “what time is lunch ?” I like certainty , I like to plan my day and time and this sometimes annoys Deji because he is a spontaneous person, hence why I can’t ask him for location and time , I just continue sewing while I wait for him to call me , after all, the shop where I work is at the center of town . Deji calls me by 3;15pm and tells me to meet him at Lagos Bistro in 15 minutes . Lagos Bistro ?? With my 50k salary ?? What will I eat for the rest of the month ?? But if Deji says I should meet him at Lagos Bistro in fifteen minutes , then I would meet him at Lagos Bistro in fifteen minutes. I get there in exactly fourteen minutes thirty seconds and of course , I have to wait for my oga because he never keeps to time. Twenty minutes later, he strolls in with a woman , arm in arm , his sister perhaps ? Deji doesn’t have a sister , the girl is Sophia .
Sophia is slim thick , long legs , hip size probably 42 with 26 inches waist and from her mesh top, I just know her bust size is 36. I should not get jealous , after all it is me Deji loves and we are outside , of course , he would be with her , or so i thought.
The waiter comes to take our orders and Deji orders a glass of water for me , he says that is all I would be needing, he orders food for himself and Sophia and we sit in silence , well mostly me. Deji and Sophia are all loved up .
It has been fifteen minutes since Deji placed the orders , why hasn’t the waiter brought anything ? I’m thirsty . Deji was right .
“Jessica”, Deji calls my name for the first time in three months , he usually calls me “hey “. It takes about three seconds for my brain to register that he called my name . “Yes?” , i muttered. “what is my love language ? “ …. Excuse me ?? Rewind ???
“Hmmm?” I basically ask in bewilderment. “You see my problem with you , you never listen, you know I do not like repeating myself , I said , what is my love language?” He yelled .
What is love language ? The mafia and suspense novels I read do not say anything about love languages. I do not even have data to quickly check google , a million and one thoughts are flying through my head , how do I answer this question , more so , in front of Sophia?
“Umm” I mutter , “you know what?” he continues yelling , “Do not even bother , I don’t even know what I was thinking asking you a question , you’re very dumb . I called you here to tell you that I do not love you anymore , no , scratch that. because I never even loved you , I do not want to be with you anymore , I am now with Sophia and I would be moving in with her so I’d stop by the house later this week to get my stuff “. My head was spinning , is Deji abandoning me. too ? What does he mean by he never loved me ? He has not paid his part of the rent , who would pay for the food him and Sophia will eat here ? Because it cannot be me seeing as no food was ordered for me , speaking of which, where is the waiter ? My throat is dry .
For the second time in less than ten minutes , a million and one thoughts were flying through my head , as if on cue , the waiter arrives with my glass of water and I gulp the content down. “You haven’t paid your part of the rent “, that was the only thing I could say because that is the only thing that matters right now , at least , if I run out of here now , I will escape paying the bill.
“What is your account number let me send you his share of the rent “, Sophia said. I do as she says and she sends me 50 thousand naira. 50k!! That is my one month salary and his rent was only twenty five thousand. I thank her and walk out of the restaurant.
I’ve been walking for what feels like hours , my mind and brain blank , it is only when I find myself knocking on my fathers gate that I become conscious of my surroundings. Unfortunately for me , he opens the gate.
“Ashawo , bad luck child , I see you have returned , why are you here ? Are you pregnant? Stupid girl” , he hisses and continues insulting me while I sat at his feet and wept. I bawled my eyes out , am I truly cursed ? Do I really have bad luck ? Why does everybody hate me and abandon me? Am I undeserving of good things ? Would life get better for me ?
